Admission
by jackwabbit
Summary: Humor. Movieverse. Spoilers: None. Summary: Tony won't stop until he gets a confession. Pity it wasn't the one he was expecting.


**Admission**

Rated: PG-13

Category: Humor. Movieverse.

Spoilers: None.

Summary: Tony won't stop until he gets a confession. Pity it wasn't the one he was expecting.

Note: I got rather tired of the "Tony gets Natasha and Clint to admit to a romantic relationship" fic and the "movie night" fic (and the many combinations thereof), and this is the result. I'm sorry. I really am. AU for one major point, which I won't spoil here. If you can't take a bit of joking in your Marvel universe, this is not the fic you're looking for. Move along.

xxx

Movie night at Avengers tower was a weekly event, and if some of the Avengers weren't exactly keen on the supposed team-bonding experience, no one bothered to say anything, as it wasn't worth the earful one would get from Tony for the next week about it.

And so they all attended dutifully every week when they were in town, and it became a tradition they didn't seem to mind so much after all.

Of course, attending didn't mean one didn't have to listen to Tony's needling. The topics were just different. And tonight was no exception.

"Oh, come on," whined Tony. "There's no sense in denying it."

Natasha sent Tony a look that would have withered most men, but he plowed on.

"What? We have eyes, you know. We can all see what's going on. Right, guys?"

At this, he gestured to Bruce and Thor, both watching with interest from the couch.

Suddenly, they had more interesting things to look at, and Tony rolled his eyes.

"Seriously? You guys are still falling for her 'my looks really can kill' act?"

Bruce lifted one finger. "Well, since her looks have, in fact, killed many, I think that's only wise," he said.

Natasha respectfully nodded at him and gave him a slight smile that somehow still hinted at danger, and Bruce went back to reading the journal in his lap.

Thor took this moment to chime in. "Agreed. The lady Widow is a powerful enemy."

Tony stared at Thor and Bruce in disbelief.

"Fine. Be that way," he scoffed.

Suddenly the door opened and Steve Rogers entered the room. Tony beamed at him.

"It's alright. Steve will help me out. Right, Cap?"

Before Steve could respond, Tony gestured at Natasha. "Tell her there's no reason to deny that she and Katniss are lovebirds. Tell her we all know what's going on."

Steve held his hands up in front of his chest and walked backwards to leave the room the same way he'd come in. He shook his head slightly from side to side.

"I'm not touching that with a ten-foot pole," he said.

"What? You too? Geez! What's a man got to do around here to get an ally?" said Tony.

"Maybe pick another target," muttered Clint, as he slid into the room and stepped in front of Steve.

Steve, Bruce, and Thor nodded their agreement, and Tony sighed.

"Whatever," mumbled Tony. "You know you'd be happier if you just admitted it, though."

Clint snorted. "That's probably true," he murmured.

His words were only a whisper, but Natasha's eyebrows shot up marginally and Tony's head whipped around so fast it was a wonder he didn't get whiplash. He focused on Clint.

"So you're saying there is something to admit," he accused. "I knew it! This whole 'we're just partners' thing is bogus!"

Clint sighed and ran a hand over his face. "I'm not saying anything. I just came to watch the movie."

"You know that was a trick, right?" leered Tony.

Clint snorted again. "I'm beginning to suspect that, yes. After all, as you said, we have eyes."

"Hey! You weren't even here when I said that! How did you…oh, never mind," said Tony.

Clint smiled. "Now, I believe we're watching a move?"

Tony pushed his lips into a pout. "We're waiting on Pepper. Besides, it's my tower. I'm not pushing play until I get a confession."

Clint met Natasha's eyes. "He does have a point, you know," he said.

Natasha's expression softened. "It's up to you."

Clint raised one eyebrow. Then he nearly shrugged.

Natasha grinned openly back at him, causing Tony to knit both eyebrows together and stare first at Clint and then at Natasha in turn.

Natasha's only response was to send Tony a sneer. Then she looked back at Clint and nodded slightly.

Clint glanced around the room, eyeing each Avenger in turn. Then he made eye contact with Natasha again, a small question in his eyes and doubt in his expression.

Natasha repeated Clint's action, inspecting everyone in the room, then looked back at Clint. She nodded again, and her certainty seemed to clear up Clint's doubt.

Tony rocked back on his heels, fully expecting a confession of Hawk and Spider love any second. The non-verbal conversation going on in front of him was, to his mind, evidence enough of a full-blown relationship, if not some sort of secret marriage or other juicy tidbit.

For his part, Clint just shrugged, then spun on his heel, grabbed Steve's head with both hands, and laid a comically overzealous yet chaste kiss on the super soldier's mouth.

When he was finished, four mouths hung open in exaggerated expressions of surprise.

No one said anything for several seconds as Bruce, Tony, Thor, and Steve stared at Clint in shock and Natasha grinned like the proverbial cat that ate the canary. Meanwhile, Clint bit his lower lip and bowed his head, looking almost sheepishly back up a moment later.

It was Tony, of course, who broke the silence.

He took two large steps over to Steve and clapped him on the shoulder.

"Don't worry, Cap. Don't ask, don't tell is history."

Steve gave Tony a look that was half confusion and half disbelief. His jaw moved up and down a few times, but no sound came out. Tony snorted and steered Steve away with the hand still on his shoulder.

"Come on," he said, "I'll explain everything while we make popcorn."

Steve nodded mutely and followed Tony out of the room.

As he did, Bruce shook hands with Clint and Thor embraced him in one of his trademark bear hugs.

A short time later, Tony and Steve returned with popcorn just as Pepper joined the group and they all settled in to watch the movie of the week.

Tony never apologized to Clint for his misunderstanding, but no one expected him to.

After all, he probably saw his role in the whole thing as an educator.

He likely thought that he'd done everyone a favor.

And maybe he was right.

Because none of the Avengers assumed all gay best friends were sassy ever again.

No, they knew without a doubt that some of them were downright surly.


End file.
